2012, on hindsight

I began this year an engaged woman. haha. And what a journey it has been, and still is. We got to know each other with the knowledge that we were looking to settle down and Alhamdulillah (for it is a blessing regardless of what I feel at the moment) we've come this far. We've known each other for slightly more than 3 years, been together for less than that, been engaged for a year... And a few months more, I would be undertaking a new portfolio.. Only He knows my prayers.

I also started the year hung over from the beauty I witnessed in faraway lands. I left my heart in Morocco. And I pray for another chance to witness His magnificence there and elsewhere. But Alhamdulillah, what an experience it was.

Once the year started, work was a whirlwind. Busy year, new profile of children, wonderful friends. Within the first few wks we had camp.. and yeah.. it was non-stop hits after that. Alhamdulillah for the experience. NauzubIllah, may He protect me and the children form any ill effects of my teaching. In Shaa Allah, He will protect and guide them where I was lacking.

I sang at a book launch. It's my love that tortures me. Part guilt. Part excitement. But teaching's taking away the magic.

2 of my cousins got engaged Alhamdulillah. Newsie. Manis. :) The '85's. I love us.

This year, my furry babies were born. I lost 1. May He allow me to meet my little smally. I'm sorry I failed you little one. Forgive me Ya Raab. But I still have 4 more. Theyre growing up fast and I can't be any prouder of my beautiful babies. I saw them being brought into this world. It wasn't east for mommy either. The love and care my princess put into raising her babies, I pray I'll find that instinct when my turn comes. Shukur for having them. I don't know how I'll react when they have to leave. :(

I'm thankful for my family. We ended last year and welcomed this with one which is complete. 10 years we endured and made do. Now we're whole again and I give thanks for You for putting us on this journey for I feel it made us stronger. My other family members, the ones who complete us. My cousins who I'm thankful for coz they too are my friends. Alhamdulillah. I cannot imagine how it would be without them. We welcomed Mumu into our clan and we're thankful for the happiness he brings us, for the example that his parents set for the rest of us. Bless my family Ya Raab. For they have sheltered me when I was in need. They deserve Your protection and love.

My friends. I've learnt that for those we welcome, some we need to let go. I pray they'll continue serving as my inspiration and good examples while we are able to rub shoulders for this short short time.

The sun replaces the moon in cycles, until the day He wills it not to be. I'm thankful for the yesterdays, look forward to the tomorrows and pray that whatever comes next, I be empowered with all the strength He feels fit to gift to me.

Step 2 complete

Last night I finally registered for our wedding. This morning the shit hit the fan. Big hullabaloo when there was no cause to making me lose faith in his abilities.

But as I said before, lillahita'ala. And since He test you for every declaration, this is my test. I pray for strength, wisdom, His guidance, love and patience.

He will not test us with what we cannot bear. He is our protector, He is our Lord. As He gives, He can take away.

Pardon me Ya Lateef.

Step 1 complete

Today we finished our 2 day marriage prep course. It was by BDMI. Even though it was in Malay, I didnt have difficulty with the content hahaha. ALHAMDULILLAH, it was an interesting knowledge sharing session for me. It was also an eye opener. We'll register our nikah insyaAllah on Tuesday. Step 2 will be done then.

Ya Raab, everything happens because you have deemed it best. Bless us, guide us, forgive us and show us the best of ways.

Chez Shix:Baking, Holiday Edition

So I've been asked why I bake. I guess it's firstly coz someone wants it. then coz i think i can. that's about it. haha.. i won't bake something no one wants to eat coz i dont really like cookies or cakes or breads... haha.. So without further ado, let's take a look at what I've been baking

First, Custard buns at my mother's request...

Followed by a cheese and tomato focaccia

Then a blueberry buttermilk muffin which I brought along for a picnic with the fainters

And lastly a healthy peach and oats muffin. No, it wasnt up to par.

I'll add the links and ingredients in soon.

Step 1: Attend Marriage Prep Course

On Wednesday, I paid for my marriage prep course at Istighfar. Tomorrow is Day 1 of the course. I KWL-ed with Mr R about what he has to learn and obviously he was a little shy about it. But what he said touched me. It was to find out his responsibilities. I'm trying to keep an open mind about what's in store but I have to say I'm worried. Yes, this whole wedding thingamajig scares me. Money, responsibilities, future.. sighs.

but oh well, as Ms K said, we're doing this lillahita'ala. Let's see what tomorrow brings.

I hit the (bread) motherload

Meet my awesome breads

All of which are made possible by this lady's awesome recipe. I'm not allowed to comment but if I did, I would thank her for being awesome. It's not perfect yet but I'm pretty damn close. This is the softest bread I've made so far and ALHAMDULILLAH it's a hit with the family.

Recipe:

Dough

350 gm bread flour

55 gm caster sugar

5 gm salt

1 medium sized egg

125 ml milk 

120 gm tangzhong (water roux made of 1 part flour, 5 parts water)

5g instant yeast

30 gm butter (cut into small pieces, softened at room temperature)

Filling

Whatever you want. I used floss and sausages

Method:

1. Make the tangzhong (I've not idea how you're supposed to read this word) and let cool to room temp

2. Heat up the milk till it is luke warm. (Too hot and you're gonna kill the yeast)

3. Mix the milk, yeast and approx half the sugar till the yeast dissolves and set it aside for 10mins

4. Mix the flour and salt into a separate bowl. 

5. Mix up the yeast solution, egg and rest of the sugar before dunking everything into the flour. 

6. Knead

7. Add in the butter

8. Knead. Slap it around. Knead.

9. Let it rise in a greased bowl for 1 1/2 hr (it was a cold night)

10. Shape your dough to little pieces (i get 16 pieces of 5cm balls) and fill them up with whatever

11. Let it rise for another 30-45 min

12. Bake at 160deg for 20 min.

Now, you can enjoy your little pillows